We recieved this message last week from a 'Tree Demon' actor and though it too good not to share...

Hi Chloro - Phil,

Yes, you’re right. I was glorious … a natural … turning many green with envy.

One glance at our family tree shows that my roots are truly arboreal hence the wooden acting. My father was ‘Sapling Number 893’ in the Blair Castle Witch Project so clearly, I’m a chip off the old block. Sadly, Dad’s career was cut down in its prime. It was the timber of his voice that stumped his chances of blossoming.

Reaching for where the grass was greener, I went out on a limb and branched into a new field. Please knot, that whilst I was accused of not bending with the wind at Saturday’s shoot (which was a bit mulch), my bark is worse than my bite and I promise to stick to the script in future.

I shall leaf it there but before I take my final bough good luck in conkering Hollywood.

Twig.

 

Shout out to Murray Henderson (Publisher at Scottish Beasties and editor of the incredible Scottish Beasties Pocket Field Guide: The Trackers' Compendium of Rare Scottish Creatures) for the cracking puns...